


Missing Pieces

by BerryChwan



Category: The Flash (Comics), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: F/M, Multi, discontinued, maybe i will continue one day
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-27
Updated: 2016-06-28
Packaged: 2018-07-18 15:49:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7321261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BerryChwan/pseuds/BerryChwan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Barry Allen just wanted his parents back and so he made a decision to change everything. But was he prepared to live with that decision?  Post s2e23 (The Race of His Life)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Is this alright?

The first place Barry went after saving his mother was home. 

Not the home that he grew up in with Joe and Iris West, but the home he never got the chance to grow up in.  
He stood outside his house for a few minutes, suddenly terrified. The decision to save his mother had seemed so right but now everything around him seemed to be glaring at him in disapproval. 

“I know it’s selfish but I just couldn’t lose them both,” he mumbled quietly to his surrounding, trying to reassure himself.

He realized he still had his speed. It was too early to know what his decision had changed. He couldn’t think about Iris, he couldn’t think about Joe or Cisco or Caitlin or anyone in his timeline for that matter without having a small panic attack. Right now, his mother was priority, so he pushed all his worries out of his mind walked towards the porch, stood in front of the door and turned the knob.  
He was greeted by the smell of baking cupcakes. 

“Barry is that you?” He heard his mother ask from the kitchen. He stood frozen for a few minutes, tears welling in his eyes. His knees buckled.

Mom is alive, he thought falling to the ground. 

“Barry? Henry?” his mother called out again, this time with a tinge of concern in her voice. 

Henry? His father was okay too? He knew he should have answered his mother then but he was so overwhelmed with emotion, he couldn’t speak. The thought of both his parents, looking at him, hugging him, kissing him felt like a dream. 

He blinked several times. By now tears streamed freely down his face and he was sitting on the floor, his head in his hands. He felt so exhausted. So exhausted with relief. He just wanted to lay down and close his eyes. 

He felt a gentle hand on his shoulder and looked up to see his mother looking down at him, worry clear on her face. 

“Oh god Barry, is everything alright baby?” 

Barry continued to stare at her. He had missed her eyes the most, so blue, so kind. It was the part of her that had stayed most vividly in his memory. 

“Barry?” she asked again, his voice heavy with concern. 

He got up and wrapped her into a tight hug and dropped his head on her shoulder, sobbing quietly. He knew he was worrying her but he couldn’t help it. Mom. His mom was holding him. 

His mother held him for a few minutes before panic overcame her and she pushed him away, lips trembling. 

“It’s Henry isn’t it? Is your father okay? Oh god Barry, oh god,” Nora Allen wailed her voice cracking. She had not seen her son cry like that in a while. The last she had seen him cry was when his good friend Eddie Thawne had died. 

Barry Allen pulled away and wiped tears away from his eyes trying to smile reassuringly. 

“No! No. He is fine. I just, I just had a long day, that’s all. Where is dad?” 

Nora Allen looked at her son, confused and still scared. Things were definitely not fine, but at least Henry was alright. 

“Your father is with Joe and the rest at STAR Labs watching the game. I thought you would be there too actually,” She said shrugging trying to calm her nerves. 

Barry’s eyes shot open in surprise and he grabbed her shoulders frantically. 

“Joe? Joe West!?”

Nora Allen took a deep breathe, he was starting to frighten her. There was something off about him today. Something was not right with her Barry. She was too afraid to ask what was wrong, she knew the answer would throw her life in disarray again. They had just dealt with the Zoom crisis, she couldn’t imagine going through that again so soon. 

“Yes, of course Joe West. Do we know another Joe?” she responded cautiously, her eyes narrowing suspiciously. 

Barry Allen started pacing, running a hand through his hair. Joe West was still in his life, the fact that he was with his father at STAR labs meant that they both knew about him being the flash. Did his mom know too?

“The rest? Who else is there? Caitlin, Cisco, Wells?” he asked nearly jumping, wringing his hands worriedly. 

Nora shook her head and started walking away from him, feeling a tinge of irritation. Was he drunk? She thought he couldn’t get drunk. 

“Barry Allen! What is going on with you? Are you another Barry from another earth, because I can’t deal with that again, it was weird enough last time!” she said walking away hands in the air. 

Barry stood mouth agape, he had so many questions. Another Barry had come to his earth? Did that mean Zoom was around? Did a black hole open up? He wanted to know everything, he felt like a stranger in his own life, there were too many missing variables. It was giving him a really bad headache.  
He had figured saving his mother would change things, but he hadn’t realized just how confusing and complicated it would get. 

“No mom, it’s me. It’s just been a long day. A lot of weird things have happened. I am a bit disoriented.”

“Fine, whatever. I don’t want to know. The less I know about meta human stuff, the easier it will be on my heart.”

Finally deciding that his mother had had enough, he zoomed over and placed a quick kiss on her cheek. 

“Sorry for worrying you mom, let me head back to STAR labs.”

His mother smiled at him, holding his cheek. He felt like crying again but held it in. 

“Oh my boy.”

He smiled back at her, not knowing how to contain his happiness. Suddenly, his mom started pinching his cheek, frowning. 

“What have I told you about using your powers in the house?” she said still pinching his cheek. 

“Oww mom! That hurts!” Barry whined backing away from her, rubbing his cheek. 

“It better! It’s good to have you around though, you barely pass by nowadays. I should have never let you get that apartment.” 

Barry shrugged, making a mental note. He had an apartment. He started to walk away, still rubbing his cheek. He heard his mom chuckle. 

“Get a jacket from your room, I will know if you leave without one,” she yelled from the kitchen. Barry grinned stupidly and ran up the stairs. 

He walked into his room and absently grabbed his favorite jacket from his closet. He thought about it and rummaged through his desk drawer. Aha! His mints were there. He popped one in his mouth and walked out his room still smiling happily.  


As he shut the door behind him, his brows furrowed in confusion. How did he know where his mints would be? How did he know that the jacket he held in his hand was a gift from Joe, a gift he had gotten after joining the CSI division at the precinct. 

He realized that he was remembering things, he was remembering his mother patching up his knee after he had been roughed up by some bullies when he was thirteen. He was remembering his parents taking a bazillion pictures before he headed out to his first dance in 8th grade. He remembered blissfully dancing with Becky Cooper and Iris teasing him about his first kiss with Becky Cooper. 

Barry Allen stood startled. He tried to remember what had happened in the West residents prior to his thirteenth birthday but he couldn’t. He was starting to forget things, his memories were being replaced. 

He walked slowly downstairs, torn between horror and relief. On one hand, he would know everything about his life up to this point, but on the other he could no longer remember the first time Joe had called him son and he couldn’t remember being in love with Iris as a child.  
He sank down and sat on the stairs, drained. Was this really okay? Was it really worth it to forget his other life? 

“What’s taking so long Barry? For a speedster, you are sure taking forever to find a jacket.”

The voice of his mother made him feel a little bit better. She was here and he was happy. He would figure out everything else with time. 

“I got it. Just marveling at how my room never changes.”

“Well, yeah. I couldn’t change anything in that room even if I wanted, you know how your father is about changes.”

He did. He didn’t realize how much he did until he thought about it. More memories were rushing in, muddling with his old ones. His headache was now a severe migraine. 

“Give my love to Cisco and the rest, they haven’t passed by here in a while and tell your father that he if comes too late, he can sleep at STAR labs tonight.”

Barry laughed. 

“Alright! I love you!” he yelled speeding outside. He pretended not to hear his mother yelling about him using his powers in the house. 

As he approached STAR Labs, his heart beat faster and again a single thought rang loudly in his mind. 

Is this really alright?


	2. Something dark this way comes

He recognized all the voices as he stood in the hallway at STAR Labs. He knew it was Joe West who was laughing gleefully, he knew that the voice that was cheering and telling Joe to shut up was his father. He could hear Caitlin reprimanding Cisco who was telling her to just ‘chill.’ He didn’t realize just how much he had missed the voices that had been part of her life for a while now. 

Suddenly he heard a voice that made his mouth go dry. “I don’t know why I came here to watch the game, you guys are so noisy!”

Iris. 

He knew that voice anywhere, the softness of her voice despite her irritation. He could almost picture her rolling her eyes in annoyance but her mouth twisting in a little smile despite herself. But most of all, he could see the look she would give him, the ‘can you believe these people’ look. 

He smiled in relief, everything was fine. Sure there were changes here and there, but the people he most cared for were still around and more importantly together. 

Maybe this was alright. 

He walked into the room, it was different. There was a sofa and a huge screen above where the game was playing. There were even some pictures on the wall, none of him of course, he figured it was to try and keep his identity secret. Then he saw a picture that made him gasp, it was Eddie. He was dressed up as Santa Clause, laughing with Iris on his lap smiling brightly. Behind him Cisco and Caitlin stood looking embarrassed, it was probably because they were dressed like elves. He figured that he was the one who had taken the picture. 

He felt an ache in his heart as he continued to stare at the picture. They all looked so happy, especially Iris. He hadn’t heard Eddie’s voice, was he alive? He hated himself for suddenly dreading the thought. 

He felt a hand on his shoulder. He knew who it was and tried hard not to cry and hug him and cry again. He didn’t want to scare his father like he had his mother. Henry stood with his son as they gazed at the picture in silence. His father sighed, “We all miss him bud,” his father finally said, heavy with sadness. 

Barry bit his lip, he didn’t have to ask the question; the sudden sorrow he felt in his heart told him that Eddie was also dead in this time. But what surprised him was how much more sorrow he was feeling, it was almost suffocating. Every time he looked at his face, he felt a darkness snake up his heart. There was something about his relationship with Eddie in this timeline that was different. He felt it, he knew it but his memories weren’t up to speed yet. 

Henry glanced at his son and what he saw worried him. It was the same look hunted he had carried with him for a few months after Eddie’s death. Henry gulped, Barry couldn’t go back to that place again. It had taken everyone’s efforts to get him back to a good place. And so, Henry grabbed his sons shoulder and swiveled him around. 

“Time to go back to the game. Where did you go anyway, one minute you were there and the next you were just gone,” Harry asked trying to get Barry to think about something else. It worked because Barry’s face cleared and he shook his head in confusion. 

“Ahhh, I umh, went to check on mom,” Barry stumbled through the lie, smiling guiltily. His father gave him a doubtful look, Barry was bad at lying and this got worse when he was trying to lie to his father. 

“mmmh. Fine. I need to go home soon or I bet she won’t allow me in the house,” Henry said letting his son’s suspicious behavior slide. 

When Barry walked to where the others were sitting, no one turned to look at him. He realized that he had been expecting a grand welcome or something as dramatic. Then it him with embarrassment, that to them, he was just Barry, Barry who had left during the game to do something. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, they didn’t know he had changed the past, they didn’t know that this was a different timeline. 

Finally Joe acknowledged him and patted a sit next to him, smiling fondly. 

“While Iris is gone to the bathroom, this gives us an opportunity to talk about her new partner.”

Caitlin and Cisco made sounds in the background. 

Partner? Barry’s heart skipped a bit and he suddenly felt nauseous. 

Before he could sit next to Joe, his father raced over and took the seat. 

“Hey! It’s my sit, MY sit, and Barry was taking his time anyway, you snooze you lose,” his father explained unapologetically. Joe frowned at his best friend.

“How old are you again Henry?” Joe asked with mock curiosity. 

“A man must defend his territory, that is the lesson I am trying to teach my son,” Henry shrugged and leaned back on the sofa. Joe snorted and suddenly grabbed Henry by his neck and pulled him down. Henry flailed under him, “Ooh come on Joe, lemme go Joe!”

Cisco got up from the sofa and patted Barry’s shoulder with pit, “these are your role models Barry. These two. I don’t know how you grew up to be so normal,” he paused and looked at Barry, “Well, normal enough anyway.”

Barry was too distracted to pay attention to what was going on, his mind was still trying to decipher what Joe had meant by ‘partner.’ 

“Barry! Earth to Barry,” Cisco sang as Barry continued to stare in a daze. Cisco shrugged and looked at Caitlin for support, she was texting frantically wearing flirtatious smile. It was probably Ronnie. 

“Hey Caitlin, stop your sexting. Barry is broken,” Cisco said shoving Cait’s shoulder lightly. She nodded not looking up from her phone, “try doing that thing,” she suggested still not looking up. 

Cisco rolled his eyes suddenly wishing Iris was with them. Cisco leaned forward and got close to Barry, a sadistic smile playing on his otherwise innocent face. 

“Oliver Queen is coming back to Central City.”

Barry wasn’t sure why, but he suddenly looked around in panic, his mind racing trying to find an escape route. He didn’t know why but the name Oliver Queen made him want to dig a hole and hide in there for eternity. He didn’t feel like Oliver was bad in this time, but the thought of the green arrow made him shudder with dread. 

“Really? But whyyy? Oh god. I can’t go through another one of his surprise training exercises,” Barry whined, his head in his hands. Suddenly he saw Oliver in his green arrow suit shooting arrows at him, one landing on his butt and him falling groaning and Oliver standing above him shaking his head, “too slow Barry, you should have seen that coming.” 

Barry realized it was a memory and although he didn’t have the complete image yet, he knew that it wasn’t the only time Oliver had shot him arrows. And there was something different about this Oliver, his face was hardened, and his eyes pierced him, not with unkindness but an aloofness that was unnerving. His memories were being replaced again. It was happening, fast, way too fast, he needed to talk to someone. He was sure he had seen a picture of Dr. Wells or was that his imagination or a memory?

Before he could sort things in his mind. The screen started blinking red. He heard Cisco next to him grumbling, “There goes the prospect of a peaceful night.”

He stood on alert, he knew what that sound meant: suit up time. 

Caitlin got up and Barry had a chance to finally really look at her. She remained unchanged, the same hair, the same clothes, but he noticed something different and grinned. Caitlin noticed him grinning and looked down at what he was looking at and chuckled. She waved her wedding band around proudly.

“Seems to get bigger doesn’t it? Ronnie really did well. Now stop gawking. You have a situation to take care of.”

Barry nodded still grinning, Ronnie was alive. 

“Where is Ronnie by the way?” He asked innocently. Caitlin stared at him surprised. 

“What? How bad is your memory Barry? He is off superheroing in Detroit, Vixen needed help remember? Now, go, go, go.” 

Barry nodded hastily and changed into his costume, before he zoomed out, he wondered where Iris was. She was the only person he hadn’t seen yet and she was the person he most wanted to see. 

“Okay Barry, there is something over at the large abandoned warehouse downtown, the one near Molt Industrial complex,” he heard Caitlin say over the com. He zoomed past building, feeling electricity course through his body. It was a feeling he never got tired of.

He stopped when he reached the abandoned warehouse, he entered it cautiously. 

“Guys I don’t see anything,” he remarked in the darkness. There was silence on the mic, then Cisco made confused sounds. 

“Err…it just sort of disappeared.”

Barry stopped short, “What you do you mean disappeared?”

“We mean, nothing is showing up here anymore. Whatever it is, it’s gone,” Caitlin said confused as well. 

Barry swivelled nervously. 

“That’s not good guys.”

Cisco scoffed, “duh!”

Suddenly he heard a noise coming from outside. 

“Oh dude, it’s back again, it’s outside.”

Barry ran outside and looked around, he couldn’t see anything. He felt himself step on something. He looked down, it was blood. 

“I see blood but I don’t see anything guys.”

He heard Cisco whistle, “creepy!” Barry rolled his eyes, “thanks for that useful comment.”

Then he saw it and his stomach churned unpleasantly. 

"oh man..."

“What is it dude?” Cisco asked quietly, his voice thick with dread. 

Barry slowly walked towards the crunching sound, trying not to step on limbs of a dismembered body. He couldn’t see, it was too dark. Abruptly, the crunching noise stopped and out of nowhere something brushed by him. He swivelled but still couldn’t see anything. 

“It’s gone again,” Caitlin whispered. They were all quiet.

“Is Joe there, we need to call this in,” Barry suggested suddenly feeling tired. 

“Yeah they are on their way. What the hell was that?” Cisco squeaked distressed. 

“We have never encountered it before?” Barry asked, half convinced that this was one of the changes that had occurred because of what he had done. 

“What? Is your memory fried or something?” Cisco asked suspiciously, he was nervously chewing on a piece of paper. He didn’t like creepy things. 

“Just answer the question Cisco,” Barry implored inspecting the warehouse the third time. 

“No, of course not,” Cisco finally replied exasperated. There was something Barry was hiding. 

He heard the sound of a motorbike and he tensed again. 

“Are the police here already?” he asked suspiciously. 

“Well no. As usual, Iris drove up there before the cops got there. You know how she is. She is probably going to give you the stink eye for leaving without telling her,”

Barry frowned perplexed as he watched the motorbike stop. 

Iris had a bike? Why would Iris be here? He was missing something. 

He couldn’t see her properly but the closer she got, the wider his eyes got. By the time Iris stood in front of him smiling sourly, his eyes looked like they were about to pop out his skull.

She held her badge, shaking her head mockingly. 

“Tsk tsk, I am detective West. Here to arrest you for trespassing on a crime scene.”

Barry couldn’t move, and he didn’t move as she got closer and peered into his eyes curiously. She backed away, her expression softening. 

“Heyo! Partner! Guys I think Barry is broken again,” she said glancing at a catatonic Barry. 

In front of him stood Iris West, but as Barry stared at her, he realized that she was the biggest change so far. It wasn’t that she was a detective; he could still remember that she had been one on Earth 2, so that wasn’t what froze him in place. It was everything else. 

She stood in front him in jeans, a leather jacket and her badge hanging from her neck. She was wearing slippers. Her short hair that reached her cheekbones was covered with a black beanie and there was a cigarette tucked behind her ear. Barry noticed she had a faded scar that stretched from her left eyebrow to the middle of her cheek. He also couldn’t help but notice a tattoo on the side of her neck. He couldn’t tell what it was. She took the cigarette from behind her ear and looked at it longingly. 

Not sure what to do or say, Barry gaped at her. 

“You smoke?” Barry croaked feeling ridiculous. 

Iris glared at him and jammed the cigarette back behind her ear. 

“Fuck off Barry I am just looking. You know you guys forced me to quit, ” She mumbled sourly. 

Cisco spoke up, “you are welcome by the way!” 

Iris rolled her eyes and grabbed Barry by his forearm. 

“Alright Barry, tell me what happened here before my new partner gets here. I told dad, that after Eddie I didn’t want another fucking partner. But oh no. I mean I already have you. Why can’t you just be my partner?” She whined bitterly. 

Barry Allen just continued nodding dumbly. He really didn’t know how to start talking to this Iris. She continued rambling squeezing his forearm. 

“And I hear her name is Patty Spivot, what the fuck kind of name of is Patty? She sounds soft to be honest. Sounds like someone you would date too. Arrgh. I don’t want another partner!”

At the mention of Patty, Barry backed away from Iris, not sure what to do with himself.

“Hey Barry, you listening to me? What’s wrong with you today! You are so quiet!” 

Iris’s eyes narrowed and she grabbed his face. Something in her eyes shattered his heart. She wasn’t in love with him. Her gaze, it wasn’t the same one that she had on the porch when she had told him she loved him. She looked at him the way she had before falling in love with him. 

“Did our dads do it again? Did those two try to convince you to date me again? I swear, those two. I would sooner shoot off my left foot than give them that satisfaction. Gosh I need a SMOKE! Damn you Cisco!”

Barry stammered something incomprehensible and backed away. He didn’t hear what Cisco said. His mind was reeling, he felt like someone was hammering nails into his brain. He held his head groaning in pain. He realized that he was starting to forget ever being in love with Iris. He couldn’t remember kissing her, except before he left to save his mother but he felt like that hadn’t been his first kiss with her. Right? 

He went down to his knees, the world was slowly dimming. He heard Iris scream his name. As he fell down, he saw that Iris’s cigarette had fallen to the ground. And suddenly he remembered that Iris had started smoking after Wally had died in a car accident. At the thought of Wally, he felt a familiar darkness that he had felt while staring at Eddie’s face. 

On the ground with Iris's hand shaking him, a thought rang in his head once again, this time more insistent. 

Is this really alright?


End file.
